all the time.? I can look at a plant and feel jealous that it's creating fruit and I'm not.? Yes.? Really.? I'm envious of my
zucchini plant!
This is a very weird thing to say, but it's true!? No matter what I'm doing throughout the day, something will suddenly remind me that I'm lacking progeny and my sky will turn grey.? A beautiful pregnant woman will walk in and I can't even look them in the eye because I'm so envious.? Little kids pulling fits over cookies and lemonade seem adorable.? Even the hissy whines of toddlers and surprising high pitched fits of small children screaming unexpectedly in a department store or restaurant strike me as cute and natural, lovely really.
My body is obviously under some form of insane hormonal attack, as I sob thru Disney movies, make googly eyes at babies and find myself wanting to take notes when I hear advice on topics of pregnancy, birth and child rearing.? Maybe my little family isn't ready to grow to be bigger, but my mind and body would leap at the chance.
So.? In honor to my insane hormones driving me batty, I'm going to make a list of all the awesome things I get to enjoy doing right now that I won't get to enjoy further down the road when my life is filled with other joys ...? hopefully baby related joys... many years down the road from now.
I need to appreciate how easy and uncomplicated life is right now.? Filled with free time and friends, learning and creativity.? Projects.? Movies.? Self improvement!? Hoorah!
I don't have to think too much about my schedule and I get to leave the house whenever I want.
I get to have a beer whenever I gosh darn feel like it.
A bike ride in the middle of the day? Don't mind if I do!
Oh.? Do I feel like a movie in the middle of the afternoon..why not!
Randomly call up a friend for an unexpected hang out!
Stroller accessible?? Who cares!
I night out to a fancy restaurant with drinks after and a long walk is just fine.
An extra shift at work just because!
Oh...the R man wants to go to a party next week, well sure, we don't need a babysitter yet!
?I could sit down and read an entire book and not be interrupted.
I can cook whatever I like, whenever I'm hungry.
This all being said, don't take it the wrong way...if you yourself have children, I would gladly trade all my freedom for what you have...you are the luckiest freaking person on the planet if you have a kiddo in your life and don't you forget it!? With every day that goes by and more of my friends tell me of their unexpected news, I'm over joyed for them, of course!? But my heart does hurt just a little bit that I don't have the same exciting adventure planned...I just have to remember...some day...it'll happen!
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